May the 4th be with you..

Things were different for me in a multitude of ways when I made my last post. Since then so many things have changed, as all things tend to do, with time. This post won’t be about arts and crafts or my silly store or any other such stuff so here is your chance not to read it…

 

On April 12th, a Saturday, I got a call from Tasha, a girl (ahem, sorry, a grown ass woman) I’ve known most of my life. I’d say she’s my best friends but there have been periods of time where we didn’t speak or we were friends but we had other friends we would consider our best friends. Besides, “best friend” doesn’t really feel like a strong enough term. No, it’s something different. We’re life long friends. Forever friends. We have a fantastic connection that isn’t found very often in this life and so calling her simply a best friend doesn’t really cover it. Anyway, my friend called me and asked me if I’d been on social media yet that day, I hadn’t. She then told me that her husband (who she’d been separated from for about 2 years) had passed away. Technically they were still married so it was she the coroner reported to. I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with her and her daughter since that day. I’ve been over at her house or with her running errands, celebrating birthdays and holidays, just kicking back, whatever. I don’t know if it’s helped much, but she definitely appreciates me and we’re always honest with each other so if she didn’t want me around she would say so.

 

Either way since April 12th life has been different. It transitioned and changed. Dealing with the loss of Robert was and is really hard. I could write so much about him and I want to. I will too, but not now. I’ll just say that 33 is too young to die. He was very loved and he is very missed. This is the only picture I have that I took of him. His M.O. was to piss me off and almost immediately be so sweet we’d end up exchanging I love yous. My “I love you” was always followed by, “but you’re fucking annoying.” He knew I meant both though.

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Through the process of this whole thing I felt privileged to be a part of it. Also terrified and sad. On the one hand, let me just say, the hardest part for me wasn’t him being dead. That part was just hard to comprehend. The hard part was seeing people I love hurting so badly. The hard part was sitting at the mortuary waiting for the funeral director to come back with information in dead silence with my friend and Robert’s best friends and seeing through the window the big black hearse being parked by some tattooed employee. The hard part was seeing his daughter’s face while I was speaking at his funeral, trying not to throw up or cry or shake too much while I said my piece. The hard part is seeing my friend do her very best to deal with it all while parenting a little girl who is acting out because her dad is dead.

We’re spreading his ashes at one of his favorite spots this weekend.

 

Simultaneously things have been changing in lots of ways around me. It’s harder for me to pretend I don’t care when I’m hurt. I’m fucking ace at pretending I don’t care. Since birth I’ve taken everything personally. As an adult I realize not everything or even most things are about me. Still, I get my feelings crushed occasionally, so I deal with it but I don’t let it show. I’ve moved to the far reaches of the country and everywhere in between. Geographical locations don’t really mean much in the big and small of things. Problems are still problems weather you’re across town or across the country. My problems haven’t changed much. The only problem I have is feeling too much. I’ve always felt too much. That’s why I’m a comfort to others, I think. I can feel what they’re going through and I try my best to join them. If you’re gonna sit in a dark closet, I’ll sit with you till you feel like coming out. If you need to cry or scream or just get things off your chest, I’ll always listen and I’ll always give you honest feed back, if you want it. If sharing another person’s pain eases it then I will do it. The people who make my life worth living deserve anything I can give them, even if it’s just a hug or a laugh or my time. Maybe not all of us measure success and worth in dollar signs, a six pack, and ass kissers. Maybe I’m successful and exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what I should be doing. How can anyone really know for sure?

What I do know is this… nothing is trivial. Life is stupidly short. We don’t know when it will end, just that it will. We don’t know what, if anything, comes after. So… this, right now, is the best chance to get the most out of life. Maybe you can’t pack up and drive to the coast or the mountains or wherever your happy place is but you could make some lemonade and read a book, or tickle someone who needs it, or tell someone you care about that you do care. All the stuff that happens in between what you think your life is till you die is more you than all the serious bullshit we think matters. Love matters. Kindness matters. Honesty matters. Compassion matters.

 

If you made it this far I applaud you. You’re pretty great. Thanks for reading this ramble of mine.

Free time is the best time.

I really love my free time. I value it greatly. Sometimes I spend it with friends or family but for the most part, when I get a chunk of time to laze around, I make stuff. I’m sure lots of people do. Some people like sports. Some like to garden. Some take weekend trips. Me? Most of the time I’d rather be home amongst my supplies, making something or organizing.

This weekend I got a little bit of both in, first there was food, drinks, cards, and laughs at Travis and Eric’s. So much fun it’s probably illegal somewhere..

(Travis makes the best Strawberry Daiquiris ever.)

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Then on Saturday evening I decided it was time to sketch out and paint my galaxy princess! Snow White is my favorite so here she is. I might embellish the stars more. I’m not sure just yet. But I’m happy with her! I posted these photos to instagram as I went.

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I’ve got some new fruity accessories for the shop but out of pure laziness I haven’t photographed them yet. Maybe I’ll go do that now! When they’re up I’ll have a shiney new post for you, but for now I’m gonna go drink some sweet tea in the sun and try to motivate myself to take and edit photos. 🙂 Hope you’re having a great Sunday!

Star stuff and happy early birthday to my blog!

The 16th my blog will officially be a year old. I’ve neglected it quite a bit. It’s not been updated monthly or even weekly, but I’ve said hello from time to time and never forgotten it. 🙂 Getting back into the groove of blogging hasn’t been like riding a bike. The blogging world is different now. Back when I began my ventures into blogging instead of being several million in number it was more like less than 10,000 at all, period. Wow, is my age showing? But back then we all wrote our own code. I completely designed my own website back then, in the time where flash was rarely used. Now I just try my best to figure out wordpress and get it to both look like and do what I want it to do. Oddly, it’s way more confusing than simply coding it in the way I used to. Then again, I had absolutely no responsibilities, bills, a child, or any real obligations outside of social gatherings at that age. WordPress works just fine for me. I just need to get comfortable with it.

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I have a few cute new items up in my shop. Alien, dinosaur, and poison apple rings…. that I absolutely love. They’re fun, cute, adjustable and make me smile. I find myself being drawn to 90’s style things. (Mostly because my teenage years were the 90’s.) At first it was a little weird to see it coming back into style, high-waisted jean shorts, floral print everything, aliens, peace signs, jellies, neon colors. But now I’m just stoked because I absolutely loved it all then and I love it now too. So… I’ve decided to flow with that creatively and see where it takes me.

And for fun these happened. Acrylic paint on wood plaques, for my son’s room. We love Adventure Time! (LSP is my favorite of this group.) I’m working on some Disney silhouette paintings for myself as well. But I’m one of those people who always have 20 things going on and 50 more projects I’d like to start. haha I think the technical term is: artist.

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Anyway, I’m oh so happy spring is here at last (at least in California) and it’s probably my most inspired time of year. I will be back to update again. Hopefully with exciting new things to share. (Youtube vlogs or tutorials or some such nonsense, perhaps.)

If being busy were the same as being successful I should have more $$$

Unfortunately for me and a whole lot of others being busy has nothing to do with making big bucks. Never the less, I am super busy and I’m loving it.

Aside from a whole slew of new things going on (omg, I’m actually going to have a room to use for a studio!!) I have sooo many new items to list on my shop. Poison apple rings, delicious crocheted pillows, prints, paintings, oh my! The thing is… a lot goes in to actually listing a product. Even though I use etsy, which simplifies things greatly, I still have to take photographs, then edit those photographs (lest they look unprofessional and gross), measure everything, write a listing, and finally enter all that information along with prices/shipping on etsy. It’s way more time consuming than it should be but I can’t figure how to do it any faster.

 

Anyway, between setting up my new room/studio and cleaning like a ninja I’ll have lots of new exciting updates in the shop. I’ll also be blogging weekly, posting free crochet patterns, and by mid-March I’ll have uploaded my first video tutorial! I’m excited about the upcoming months. I hope you are too! New site design in the near future as well.

 

This post is short but sweet. Yes, I’m still alive. Yes, Cheeseburger Dragon has big plans. The future is looking bright!

 

I hope 2014 is being kind to you. Thank you for following along with me.

Happy Holidays, Happy Customers!

Well, upon listing the custom Crochet Converse on my store I quickly found out that they are VERY in demand! I had no idea. They sold out quickly and there were 4 more custom orders for two pair each. Needless to say between Nov 16th and December 14th I was a very busy girl. Not only did I have family in town from out of town, Thanksgiving, my brother getting back from boot camp and an impromptu trip to Fresno to help my Grandparent’s decorate for the holidays but I also had to fabricate 32 slippers and have them shipped in a timely manner! Each slipper takes about 2 1/2 hours to finish so on top of work, being a mother, being sick and all of those other things it was incredibly time consuming but worth it.

I’ll be putting up another listing after Dec. 25th but for now, I’m detoxing from too much red yard. I’ve got several new items I’m working on for the shop, a new baby coming just after the new year, and one in the spring. Exciting times here in my neck of the woods.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season! Thank you for keeping up with me. I hope to have pictures up soon. And next year I’ll begin posting video tutorials!! 🙂

Special Crochet Converse post!!

So a friend of mine recently posted this picture to my facebook asking if I could make her these shoes in kelly green.

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I said, of course. I can duplicate most things by picture alone and this didn’t look complicated at all. It would take me a bit of time (a week, maybe two) but I’d manage to duplicate them and write a pattern as a did so. Lucky for me a simple google search lead me to the pattern, which had been translated from Finnish. It’s an incomplete pattern (some of the words translated incorrectly) but it was easy to figure things out and continue along.

The pattern which I found is free and AVAILABLE HERE! (I’ll be posting mine in english when my orders have been filled.)

Anyway, after finishing a pair several of my friends requested some so I decided to take the original photograph from the translated pattern and make a listing on my shop. Little did I know several other shoppers would be interested as well!

Anyhow. I promised some pictures once I’d finished another pair.

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This pair doesn’t fit me and I don’t really like to try my products on anyhow if I intend to sell them. (I just bought a pound of red yarn though, so while I finish up the orders I’m currently working on I’ll also make myself a pair, so as to advertise them modeled.) These are just stuffed but it gives an idea that I know what I’m doing, promise. 😉

The production is fairly quick on these so please bear with me. 2 weeks from transaction date is when they’ll be shipped, but typically I ship quicker. (Never know what life will throw me and crochet requires time and attention, so I need the two week bubble to work.)

Thank you to any people that have purchased these from me. I certainly didn’t expect them to be such a hit.

I was hard at work and then….

The bloodhound got sick.

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We were correct in our suspicions. He swallowed a rock. He’s not a bright dog, but he is incredibly sweet. We love him. He was in a lot of pain and it dominated the weekend and first couple of days of this week. (He’s all better now.)  But I am back to work on Halloween items as well as several specialty items.

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The eyeball barrettes and pins are fantastic, but I have several other items I want to get into the shop this month. I’ve also thought about posting the crochet pattern for the eyeballs if anyone was interested. (Wouldn’t be until November, but let me know.)

Anyway berets, anyone?? And beanies, gloves, scarves, oh my! Time to go give the dog pills.

Oh oh oh new store name!

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Cheeseburger Dragon, cause everything else is bullshit. (<-I happen to like that tag line but I am only kidding.) I really love the new name. I needed something that was different and stood out. I loved Viva La Cupcake and thought it up all by myself. Unfortunately, as is the way of the world, several other people in corners of the globe thought it great too. So, since I want the name to be more searchable on the net I had to come up with something new. Cheeseburger Dragon was my made up name for a pretend band. (Oh, alcohol!) So… here we are now!

Sorry it took so long for me to come back between updates. Things got crazy. But now that Halloween is less than 2 months off I’ve been working like a demon on new designs and projects. Exciting!

Here’s some of my most recent creations! Check it out.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/cheeseburgerdragon

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First off, my apologies, blog. I’ve been neglecting you. I’m sorry. Just give me one more chance, girl. I promise I’ll make good on this by updating more regularly.

 

 

Ok but seriously… while I’ve been waiting for my beach sand to dry (it almost dried, then got attacked by the sprinkler twice) and the vials I’ve ordered to arrive I’ve been focusing more on reading and working out. If I could do both at the same time I could probably work out non-stop, but my eye sight sucks sitting still so I doubt I could manage unless I had a projector or something. Anyway, I really hate working out in general. Not because I hate being active or looking/feeling better, but I hate being sweaty and stinky and it’s usually SOOOOOO boring. My mind needs to be occupied with like 3 things at a time. If it wasn’t for music I don’t know how I’d work out at all.

They always tell you diets don’t work, and that’s completely true. I happen to know of several that WILL give you dramatic weight loss results, but they aren’t healthy and you WILL gain the weight back if you don’t suddenly become a healthy eater with a work out routine over night. So this time when I decided to change all of my terribly unhealthy habits and turn them around I started slowly…. over the last 4 months I’ve changed the way I think about eating. I’ve made conscious decisions to eat healthier things and to educate myself to why exactly they’re better for me. How the bad things are bad, what they do. How the good things are good, and what benefits they garner.

Now, don’t get it twisted. I love some things that, in excess, are super unhealthy. Like… salted-caramel anything (but especially ice cream.) Or deep fried anything. Or cheese, anyway you got it. I still eat what I want I just have more will power. I know that if I want some ice cream I can’t eat it after 7pm. And I don’t need a whole pint. If I want some fries and I’m out with family, I have some. But that’s once, maybe twice a month instead of several times a week.

I’ve had great results with working out before but I wasn’t eating right then. I was just eating next to nothing, so when I moved jobs and was suddenly sitting behind a desk 5 days a week I gained it all back. So…. let’s hope after watching several documentaries on how being a lazy lard ass is REALLY bad for me, along with articles talking about how people who live sedimentary lives die sooner, it’ll keep motivating me.

Being a positive person in general helps too. Healthy mind = healthy body.

I’ve got a lot of crafty posts in the works but this one had just been sitting in drafts for days so  I had to come back and get things together.

 

I went out and did my 2 miles despite the ridiculously disgusting weather we’ve got locally. I didn’t cut my walk short when I felt like I was dying.

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Feels and delays.

I had plans to have 20+ products added to my store between my last post and this one. I’m pretty bummed it didn’t get to happen just yet but I am proud to say it had nothing to do with procrastination. New products will be posted about two weeks from now.

I’ve been terribly busy lately with two siblings graduating high school, work, and my son finishing up the school year. I’ve also managed to get my drivers license (yes, for the first time ever. *shock/awe*) and completely change my diet, which had been in transition for months. But I’m happy to say it’s not impossible to do on a tight budget. I mean, I still can’t afford everything I’d like in my diet, like raw milk and fresh pressed blueberry juice, or organic supplements, but I am still eating mostly fresh. I’ve also started exercising again, which is kind of a big deal. I haven’t exercised a lot in the past 3 years beyond bedroom activities, plus I’d been living REALLY unhealthy and was diagnosed with a blood-clot in my leg twice. The hard part of beginning to exercise regularly is the first 1-2 weeks. After that you feel like you’re being denied something when you DON’T work out. I’m still motivated at the moment. So I hope to keep up with that.

In relation to the diet and exercise/health/life changes I’ve made in the past few months I’ve also become more positive in general. Maybe it has something to do with my frame of mind, the food could definitely have something to do with it, but all I know is I find myself trying always to be positive no matter what. Believe me, I’m a big ol’ pessimist and a sour puss and a worry wart and all of that by nature. It’s not easy sometimes to bite my tongue when a razor sharp comment is right there but I really have come a long way. Life is too short to be negative, even if people think it’s funny or you’re right or witty. Sometimes words are just words but they really can cut deeper than any knife. I find it hard to not automatically react in kind when someone says something negative about me. I’m known for my feistiness. (Most of which is a defense mechanism. If you’re already on the defensive people don’t dare take a stab at you.) But I honestly think the best thing to do is ignore it. To stop and remember that we don’t know what a whole lot of people are going through in their everyday life. When someone tries to push their negativity on you or your children just remember that for one reason or another that person must be very unhappy. I won’t pretend it’s all that comforting but really, the old saying about “an eye for an eye makes everyone blind” holds a lot of truth. If I can’t be the bigger person, I can’t expect anyone else to be. I can only control myself and my actions, not other peoples.

Anyway, any residual hostility comes in handy during cardio, so there is that!